in all it's misery it will always be what i love and hated

This is the fourth time this week and all I am these days is too tired. Too tired to return missed calls. Too tired to eat. Too tired to do something about my unruly hair. Too tired to think of how tired I really am.

As I stare at this flickering screen in front of me, a forgotten memory somehow found its way back. I went through this same thing almost 2 years ago, with the Kamus Dewan and Kamus Inggeris-Melayu Dewan being my only companions as the night gradually sheds its inky darkness. It's like deja vu all over again, except back then, that someone would call me and I'll feel better almost at once. Spineless I'll admit, but comforting.

The bright yellow smiley that cheered me up yesterday now appeared to be mocking me. I can't decide whether its perma-U mouth is less than genuine or telling me it's all gonna be ok.

And I got scolded today for blewing off (in a row) the third lunch invite from a buddy I've known for too long. I think I deserved it. If this goes on, people will stop asking me out and I'll end up bitter, lonely and friendless.

*sniff*

Why do I torture myself like this? Good question.

n-n-now th-that won’t kill me

It’s days like this when I feel like faking an MC and watch cartoons all day long.

I no longer have the energy to fake a happy voice, what more pretend to be understanding to all the stupid idiosyncrasies of crazy unreasonable demanding clients. I may smile and say thank you but if I’m allowed to be brutally honest, I’ll say f*ck off and die because seriously, I’m not thankful for all this last minute issues that needs to be resolved by tomorrow morning. Your deadline’s so tight it’s tighter than a virgin ass.

Alas, I’m in an industry where calling a client a donkey to his face is a super not promoted behaviour and will be severely dealt with. That’s enough for me to swallow my almost manly ego and meekly say thank you *cough*for ruining my life*cough cough*.

Also, do I, in any way, come across as a bimbo?? Coz today, someone tried to explain to me what an apple is. As if spelling the word and describing it somehow did not get his message across, he felt it necessary to draw a picture of a big juicy apple and colour it bright red. Then he went A is for AP-PUHL.

Haihhhh....no no... he didn’t really do all that, but that’s how I felt during the entire course of his long-winded ramblings.

GRR.... GERAM NYEEE...

Okay... back to work. Yes, I’m crazy. And, I don’t have a life.

rat a too eeeee

I haven't been this super kiasu in a long long time. Ratatouille premiers here on August 16th, but I saw it oredi, thanks to a friend of a friend who's got some special premier passes.

I lurveeee the short film, Lifted. It's sooooo funny. It's about a young alien taking his abduction test. Reminds me of me taking my driving test HAHA

Of all Pixar animations I've seen, I like this the best. Truth be told, I have no idea what the story is about and in my standard lazy fashion, didn't bother to even google it. I'm so glad I quietly crept out of office, drove 1 hour in massive jam and rain, and skipped dinner to go catch this. Heh.

Pixar always have such original ideas and they somehow manage to inject soul into their film, something you don't see in a lot of so-called blockbuster film nowadays. Their characters are not plain good or evil, but flawed, that you sometimes see yourself in their shoes. They're so real, like you and me, be it the kind monster, overweight superhero or the determined mouse.

You know, Pixar can teach us some lessons in life, don't you think?

that's not what's on my mind

He leaned against the wall, casually, with his arms propped up along the edge. He then gave me a sideways glance and half-heartedly drawled, "So, do you come here often?"

He seriously can't be serious.

I gave it a second or two and in his same cool demeanour, I answered in the nay. I had a mental picture of myself, shaking my head in dismal and sighing, wondering how in the world I always manage to get myself into situations like this. He had to be at least 40, with squinty eyes and a thin moustache.

"Do you live nearby?"

"Near enough. Just opposite actually." OMG..... why am I offering information??? I'M SO STUPID.

"Oh really? I live in Puchong. I visit my daughter everyweek and bring her here." He's trying to tell me something. It wasn't an outright admission, but there was enough information for me to draw certain conclusions. He's saying he's divorced/separated. He spends time with his kids.

"If you don't mind me saying, you don't seem like you're very good at this."

"Well, I'm not. It's been so very long since I last came here."

"Well... I could give you some tips."

Cue OMGIDONTBELIEVETHIS laughter.

"If you don't mind giving me your number, I could call you and maybe we can meet up."

Now, the deal is this. Here I am focusing hard trying to get my body to relearn things taught to me 15 years ago. This is so distracting, so inappropriate, so NOT ON!!

"Nah, that's alright. I don't see myself coming here very often. Besides, I'm sure I'll improve with practice. Thanks." With a swift kick, I drifted off and as far away as my muscles can muster.

This is EXACTLY why I don't like going to public pools.

********

I've been so crazy busy lately it's not funny. I feel like throwing up whenever I hear the word "work". Or prospectus. Or circular. Or meeting. Can you believe I am to have a discussion with my boss this Sunday evening?? Talk about no life.....

But no matter what, I will still find time to go to the Dive Expo this weekend. Yes, I've finally finally decided to do something (besides talk) about it. If things goes as planned, I could be doing the thing Jessica Alba does so well in Into the Blue by say, end this year. Happiness!

japanese tetris

This is soooooo funny!! Crazy Japanese... they're the coolest!