And there I stood, in greatest awe... and trepidation...
...just what have I gotten myself into this time *groans*
To be honest, I went with no expectations, not knowing what to expect. All I was told was, reverse bungee jump, ball thingy, wires, and some other vague descriptions. In my mind, I was trying to imagine how it would look like. It's bungee so some part of my legs would be tied, rite? Maybe "G-Force-X" is a roller coaster, coz that's what it sounds like. A very exciting roller coaster.
But I kid myself.
There was the ball thingy, as promised. Attached on its sides are cables, not very big reassuring ones but ones that would instead become the rubberband in a slingshot. They strapped us down, just a buckle and shoulder harness. Doesn't feel like it's enough when we would go flying through the air. I pulled the harness as far down as it would go. Once they felt we were ready, they told us to relax and the ball started to tilt backwards! I was looking at the sky, a soothing blue on a sunny slightly overcast day, a day that would be perfect for a little picnic. But here I am, fingers all cold and clammy. Should I close my eyes? No... then I can't see anything. Open? I'm pretty sure all I would see is a blur of colours. Should I bother? In the midst of contemplation, they launched us into the air, like a slingshot. I hate it when people do that. My eyes can hardly open, as much as I will them to. Partly due to panic, partly the force from the speed. At the peak of the launch, the ball rotated! Scary. The pull back was less powerful than I expected and the ball "bounced" 3 more times and rotated some more along the way before we came to a stop. I'll say, the ending was a bit of an anti climax. But I did it! I survived the G! OK, no more stupid pacts after this.
Dav asked what I’ll be doing this coming Saturday. Does he mean besides the usual eat sleep and vegetate? Judging from the look he gave me, I got this vague feeling that we had made some plans but I conveniently forgot about it.
“Did I erm... made some plans for the weekend?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh. Err... like what?”
“Reverse bungee jump.”
Oh shit!! Did I really???
“Ahh... how come I don’t quite remember saying I’ll do it this weekend wan?”
“Got la.... you think and see.”
And he was right. We did talk about it and we did agree to do it, one month ago. See, a little bit more than a month ago we were both lamenting about how our lives are so boring, that nothing exciting ever happens. We work eat sleep, rinse and repeat. Monotony is something I detest with passion and well, I got trapped in it. Curses.
Hence the bright idea that we should do something new every month. For our first venture, we were split between indoor rock climbing or the reverse bungee jump. My excellent idea is to do indoor rock climbing first, then reverse bungee jump one month later. Boys and girls, this is how you shoot yourself in the foot. It appears I have a talent for this.I haven’t tried bungee jumping before, more so a REVERSE one at that. My stomach is already churning as I'm typing this out. Can die!! Come the weekends, I’ll probably morph into this unrecognizable heap of nervous wreck. Let's hope I don’t get a bladder malfunction during the ride.
Sometimes it feels like we’re doing a crazy tango. One step forward, two steps back. Round and round and back together again. Is this something I want? I didn’t expect it to be so hard, so confusing.
It shouldn’t be.
The other day, someone asked me what is it that I expect from a relationship. I suspect many would agree that it’s hard to pinpoint to one single thing, or even to a couple for that matter. After giving it some thought, I told her mutual respect and a relationship that helps you grow into a better and more mature person. What a model answer, but doesn’t that just sound so dead boring??
Sure, those are important. You can call them building blocks to a strong relationship. But it's not enough. Above all, what’s more important, is a sense of belonging. Like how watching a comedy alone and going on the roller coaster alone leaves us feeling kinda empty, none of us really want to go through life alone. Ultimately, it's the companionship that we're after, isn't it?
Oh, and let's not forget passion. It’s the one thing that people don’t openly admit to wanting. The feeling that you’re so wanted by someone – mentally, emotionally and physically. Of coz, never excessively till bordering on possessiveness. That's a different category altogether.
To me, it’s important that my other half is a friend. A great friend, in fact. Someone I can tell anything to without reservations because I know he wouldn’t judge me. He wouldn’t hesitate laughing at me when I cried watching An American Tail. We would have debates on who's the best superhero. He would understand my drama and think nothing more of it.
We would spend time together, and then some time not together. He'll understand my need to have my own space and grow as an individual, and that it doesn't mean he's secondary to anything. He should know when to console me and know that it doesn't take more effort than just a hug and maybe some ice cream. He wouldn't say things he doesn't mean, just because it'll make me feel better.
He should call when he said he would.
He wouldn't make me wait and make up excuses for him. He will be honest with me and not make me anxious and insecure. He wouldn't make me guess where we stand with each other. He would enjoy spending time with me because he wanted to, not because he felt he had to.
This is what I feel I at least deserve. It's not very demanding bah. It may be a tall order (to some lesser guys out there) but I believe I'm worth every bit. I have the ingredients to make an excellent girlfriend, to the right guy of coz, heh.We'll see how it goes. Till then, au revoir.
